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نكت مصرية صور حب قصص اسماء بنات

نكت للبخلاء جديده

June 25 2016 , Written by admin

نكت بخلاء جديدة جدا

انزلقت سيارة تاكسي على منحدر شديد فصاح السائق : ” لا أستطيع ايقاف السيارة ” فرد الراكب البخيل : ” أوقف العداد بسرعة ” !!! ——————————————————————————– في مرة بخــيل طب في حفرة فتجمع عليه الناس علشان يساعدونه المهم انه في الاخير ما كان راضي انه يطلع فجاهم واحد او سألهم عن هذا الشخص البخيل قالوله احنا قاعدين انقوله عكنا يدك عطنا يدك وهو رافض قال بسيطه ..خذ ايدي فطلع البخيل !! ——————————————————————————– دخل خمسة بخلاء مقهى .. وطلبوا كوب عصير .. وخمسة شفاطات !!! ——————————————————————————– أعطت إمراءة بخيله ابنها ريالاً وقالت له : أذهب واشتري خبزاً .. لكن يا ويلك اذا ضاع الريال منك .. وفي الطريق للمخبز شاهد الولد سياره تصدم أبوه .. فذهب مسرعاً إلى أمه البخيله وقال لها : امي امي .. الحقي .. أبي صدمته سياره ! فقالت : اوووه .. بسيطه .. ظننت أن الريال قد ضاع منك !!! ——————————————————————————– التاجر للبخيل : كيف تطلب شراء بدله رخيصة جداً مع أن أبنك اشترى بالامس بدله غالية ؟ .. قال البخيل : ما الغريب في ذلك .. أبني ما زال أبوه حياً .. أما أنا فيتيم !! ——————————————————————————– في واحد بخيل كل ما بغا يروح المطعم ياخذ معه صراصير يحطها في الأكل عشان مايدفع الفلوس . مره شافه واحد وحب يقلده قام راح للبخيل يبي الفزعة قاله البخيل : ” آسف … ماعندي غير ذبابة أبي أشرب بها شاهي ” !!!

  • ﻏﻀﺐ اﻟﺼﻌﺎﻳﺪة ﻣﻦ ﻛﺜﺮة اﻟﻨﻜﺖ ﻋﻦ اﻟﺼﻌﺎﻳﺪة ﻓﻘﺮروا ﻋﻤﻞ ﺑﺮﻧﺎﻣﺞ‬ ‫ﺗﻠﻴﻔﺰﻳﻮﻧﻰ ﻳﺴﺘﻀﻴﻒ أﺣﺪ اﻟﺼﻌﺎﻳﺪة اﻷذﻛﻴﺎءو ﻳﺴﺌﻠﻪ أﻣﺎم اﻟﺠﻤﻬﻮر ﺣﺘﻰ‬ ‫ﻳﺘﻀﺢ زﻛﺎء اﻟﺼﻌﺎﻳﺪه‬ ‫ﻓﻰ اﻟﻴﻮم اﻟﺘﺎﻟﻰ ﻋﻠﻰ اﻟﻬﻮاء‬ ‫اﻟﻤﺬﻳﻊ ‪ ٣ + ٢ :‬ﺗﺴﺎوى ﻛﺎم‬ ‫اﻟﺼﻌﻴﺪى اﻟﺬﻛﻰ ﺑﻌﺪ ﺗﻔﻜﻴﺮ ﻋﻤﻴﻖ ‪ ٨ :..‬؟‬ ‫! اﻟﻤﺬﻳﻊ ﺑﺼﻮت ﻣﻨﺨﻔﺾ ‪ :‬ﻻ ﻟﻴﺴﺖ ‪٨‬‬ ‫اﻟﺠﻤﻬﻮر ﻓﻰ ﻧﻔﺲ واﺣﺪ ‪ :‬إدﻳﻠﻪ ﻓﺮﺻﺔ ﺗﺎﻧﻴﺔ ‪ ‬إدﻳﻠﻪ ﻓﺮﺻﺔ ﺗﺎﻧﻴﺔ‬ ‫اﻟﻤﺬﻳﻊ ‪ :‬ﻣﺎﺷﻰ ‪ ‬ﻳﺎرﻳﺖ ﺗﻮﻗﻮﻟﻠﻰ ‪ ٣+٢‬ﺗﺴﺎوى ﻛﺎم ؟‬ ‫اﻟﺼﻌﻴﺪى اﻟﺬﻛﻰ ﺑﻌﺪ ﺗﻔﻜﻴﺮ ﻋﻤﻴﻖ ‪ ٤ :‬؟‬ ‫! اﻟﻤﺬﻳﻊ ﺑﺼﻮت ﻣﻨﺨﻔﺾ :‬ﻻ ﻟﻴﺴﺖ ‪٤‬‬ ‫اﻟﺠﻤﻬﻮر ﻓﻰ ﻧﻔﺲ واﺣﺪ ‪ :‬إدﻳﻠﻪ ﻓﺮﺻﺔ ﺗﺎﻧﻴﺔ ‪ ‬إدﻳﻠﻪ ﻓﺮﺻﺔ ﺗﺎﻧﻴﺔ‬ ‫اﻟﻤﺬﻳﻊ ‪ :‬ﻣﺎﺷﻰ‪ ‬ﺑﺲ دى آﺧﺮ ﻣﺮة ‪ ‬ﻳﺎرﻳﺖ ﺗﻮﻗﻮﻟﻠﻰ ‪ ٣+٢‬ﺗﺴﺎوى ﻛﺎم ؟‬ ‫اﻟﺼﻌﻴﺪى اﻟﺬﻛﻰ ﺑﻌﺪ ﺗﻔﻜﻴﺮ ﻋﻤﻴﻖ ‪ ٥ :‬؟‬ ‫اﻟﺠﻤﻬﻮر ﻓﻰ ﻧﻔﺲ واﺣﺪ ‪ :‬إدﻳﻠﻪ ﻓﺮﺻﺔ ﺗﺎﻧﻴﺔ ‪ ‬إدﻳﻠﻪ ﻓﺮﺻﺔ ﺗﺎﻧﻴﺔ
  • ‬ ‫‪‬‬‫ﺳﺌﻠﻮا ﺻﻌﻴﺪى ‪ :‬ﻟﻴﻪ ﺟﺘﻠﺖ أﺑﻮك‬ ‫اﻟﺼﻌﻴﺪى ‪ :‬ﻛﺎﻧﻮا ﻋﺎﻣﻠﻴﻦ رﺣﻠﺔ ﻟﻸﻳﺘﺎم ‪ ،‬ﻛﻨﺖ ﻋﺎﻳﺰ اروﺣﻬﺎ‬ ‫اﻟﻤﺤﻘﻘﻴﻦ ‪ :‬ﻃﺐﻟﻴﻪ ﺟﺘﻠﺖ ﻋﻤﻚ ؟‬ ‫اﻟﺼﻌﻴﺪى ‪ :‬ﻛﻨﺖ ﻋﺎﻳﺰ اﺑﻦ ﻋﻤﻰ ﻳﺴﺎﻓﺮ ﻣﻌﺎﻳﺎ‬ ‫اﻟﻤﺤﻘﻘﻴﻦ ‪ :‬ﻃﺐ ﻟﻴﻪ ﻛﻨﺖ ﻋﺎﻳﺰ ﺗﻨﺘﺤﺮ‬ ‫اﻟﺼﻌﻴﺪى ‪ :‬أﺻﻠﻬﻢ ﻟﻐﻮااﻟﺮﺣﻠﺔ‬ ‫‪
  • -‬‬‫ﻣﺮة واﺣﺪ ﺑﻠﺪﻳﺎت ﺑﻴﻘﻮل ﻟﻮاﺣﺪ ﺗﺎﻧﻲ و ﻫﻮ ﺑﻴﺠﺮي ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﺑﺴﺮﻋﺔ‪:‬اﻟﺤﻖ اﺧﻮك‬ ‫ﻋﻮاد ﻏﺮﻗﺎن ﻓﻲ دﻣﻪ ‪ ،‬آم اﺧﻴﻨﺎ ده ﻗﺎﻟﻪ ﻣﺎﺗﺨﺎﻓﺶ ﻣﺎ ﻫﻮ ﺑﻴﻌﺮف ﻳﻌﻮم‬ ‫‪–
  • نكت مصرية تموت من الضحك نكت مضحكة 2017145

    نكت مصرية تموت من الضحك نكت مضحكة 2017146

    نكت مصرية تموت من الضحك نكت مضحكة 2017147

    نكت مصرية تموت من الضحك نكت مضحكة 2017149

    نكت مصرية تموت من الضحك نكت مضحكة 2017150

  • نكت

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